Divorce is expensive, emotionally draining, and often confusing. It's also complicated by the fact that many states have different laws governing how property is divided during a divorce.
However, there are some things you can do yourself to help ease the process. Here are five tips to keep in mind when going through a divorce.
Get organized. This means having a plan for what needs to be done and who will handle each task. If you're not sure where to start, ask your spouse for ideas.
Keep track of receipts. Make sure you save every receipt related to your finances, such as bills, bank statements, credit card statements, etc.
Be honest. Don't lie about anything.
Take care of yourself. Remember that you deserve to take care of yourself after everything that has happened.
Stay positive. Even though you may feel sad, angry, frustrated, or confused, try to stay optimistic.
Read More: What is Ambiguous Loss?
Do everything possible to avoid conflict in Divorce
Conflict is inevitable when going through a divorce. However, you can minimize the impact by being prepared and taking steps to prevent it.
Talk to your partner. Before you go into court, talk to your spouse about how you both feel. Ask them what they think would help the situation.
Avoid arguments. Try to keep disagreements out of the house.
Set boundaries. Let your spouse know what you expect from him/her.
Focus on the future. Think about what you want to do next.
Be patient. Don't rush into a decision.
Seek professional advice. A lawyer can help you understand the legal process and give you guidance on what to do.
Consider mediation. Mediation is a non-adversarial method of resolving conflicts.
Understand your rights. Know your rights under the law.
Document everything. Keep a record of every important talk and agreement, you could write or record down all conversations and agreements.
Keep records. Save copies of emails, letters, and other documents.
Protect your children. If you have children, make sure you protect their interests.
Plan for the future. Create a budget and set goals for yourself.
Communicate. Tell your family and friends about your plans.
Find support. Reach out to people who can provide you with support.
Take care of yourself first. After everything that has happened, you deserve to take care
Be prepared to compromise
No matter how much you love each other, sometimes you will not agree on every issue. This is normal. Compromise is a part of life. It helps you reach a solution that works for everyone involved.
Be Kind to Yourself
Don’t worry about things you can’t control. Self-compassionate people can handle divorce challenges better in the months after separation, research shows. Being self-compassionate will help you get over your divorce.
No matter the circumstances, your separation emotions can be confusing or frightening. You may not know how you should feel. No emotion is wrong. Your emotions are valid. Give yourself a break and be kind.
Always Find the Positive
Keeping a positive setting around you and your former partner, but especially around your children, benefits everyone involved.
According to research, children who are forced to listen to family conflicts are more likely to develop psychological and social problems. Furthermore, high stress will only make the process of divorce more difficult for you.
Instead of going straight to litigation, we always recommend an uncontested divorce or mediation to prevent bitterness and useless confrontations. You will typically have more say in the decisions surrounding your divorce in a collaborative divorce. A neutral third party may help you and your former partner feel more empowered to "design your own separation" if you choose mediation.
Trust, Learn and Lean on Your Legal Team
You should have a trusted team behind you that will fiercely advocate for your position. Your attorney should have experience with mediation or litigation process and be able to guide you with professional experience. Always ask your lawyer questions about anything you are uncertain of. In fact, a good advisor will take the lead and ask you questions along the way. Your attorney should listen closely to your responses and questions to be sure you understand your options.
By being honest and trusting your legal team, they will best be able to help you get your best outcome.
"I never think of a case as impossible to settle. There are many difficult fact patterns that always require some creativity to bring the parties to a middle ground. There is always a middle ground, even if it is a little uncomfortable." - Sonja Sims - Sims & Purzer PLLC
Seek Sound Advice. We Can Help
Finally, be compassionate with yourself, try to be positive, and let's lean on Sims & Purzer for your legal battles; we will take care of your case and ensure the best outcome of your divorce with the best benefit for everyone.
Resources:
FORBES - PERSONAL FINANCE: Understanding How Assets Get Divided In Divorce: https://www.forbes.com/sites/jefflanders/2011/04/12/understanding-how-assets-get-divided-in-divorce/?sh=6ae95a002b66
Texas Law Help: Dividing Your Property and Debt in a Divorce: https://texaslawhelp.org/article/dividing-your-property-and-debt-in-a-divorce
Texas State Law Library: Division of Property in Divorce: https://guides.sll.texas.gov/community-property/property-division-in-divorce
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